I just remember walking in an empty room with a pit in my stomach. Thinking “what am I doing here. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”
This past year I have been working in France as an English assistant. To say the least; it has changed me. Hopefully more good than bad.
My first day at the Collège (Middle School in America) was frightening. I remember thinking I wasn’t prepared, how many times do I introduce myself, what if the teachers don’t like me? Thousands of unanswered questions floating through my mind.
Luckily the teachers have been phenomenal at making me feel at home and wanted.
New country, new life, new job. Just what I thought I wanted.
It’s weird that the year is already coming to an end. It makes me reflect on everything I have accomplished. Some days it doesn’t seem as much, aka I AM a pro at introducing myself. Other days I can feel the authority when I speak.
My biggest challenge this year has definitely been the Lycée (High School). Going in dreading to even look at the students’ faces. Thinking ‘they don’t view me as anything but a cute face and a piece of ass.’ I hate that feeling of doubt. I could sense them knowing my discomfort. They would play on my feelings to get out of work. Mocking, blowing kisses, even trying to cuss in a foreign language. As much as I hated it, sometimes I saw the light.
I can honestly say I’m stronger for it. This year has changed me, mentally, physically, and emotionally. I never thought I would enjoy writing. I never thought I would enjoy teaching. And last but not least, I never thought I would be comfortable doing things on my own. This year has provided me to travel and pursue being the independent woman I have always wanted to be.
Here’s to the scary opportunities that ended up paying off.