Montpellier Manteau (Coat) Bandit 

Hey everyone, just a heads up. I’m a born and raised Kentuckian trying to travel the world. Sharing a little bit of bourbon everywhere I go. And this little 5th of Maker’s Mark went to Montpellier for the weekend.

If there is one thing you need to prepare for, it’s the wind.

Since I’m currently an English Assistant trying to be the good little American girl that I am, I decided to go to Montpellier for the weekend. Not only me but a group of 12 English assistants decided to go. Little did we know when people talk about the South of France. They mean the South of France when it’s warm. The city was beautiful but boy was it cold.
Since I was coordinating the trip I decided to book an AirBnb for the weekend. Reading up on it at the time we saw no issues: Two stories, seven bedrooms, multiply beds, all the amenities, two bathrooms, and couches.

Little did we know, it was a porn palace! Ok, not really a porn palace but the place was very basic. There was two vibrant purple vintage velvet couches. Boy did that give me a mouth full. Every room also had these strange mood lighting fixtures and circular pillows with a diamond in the middle. Scattered through the house and every room. Plus the house still looked under construction so nothing looked lived in. It just looked like a modern house with everything very minimalistic items. Overall it was a very nice weekend. We shared stories, found out a thing or two about mormons, and even found a couple dark horses among us.

Sadly the porn palace is not the main story. On Saturday night the group split in two. One decided to come in early and the other decided to go out to enjoy the nightlife. I was amongst the night lifers.
First place we went to seemed nice. I went to the smokers room to mingle and make friends; Also back-story, I’m 26 and I have had guys lie to me multiply times about their age. So we were talking to a couple of guys and I asked how old they were. The two guys both said one was 22, and the other 23. I finish my cigarette and headed out. I’m not a big smoker and I just felt like I was in a smoky microwave. The group decides after 10 minutes of talking to these guys that we need to find a place more suitable for our ages. Our ages? I’m only 26 for crying out loud not 50! But when we got outside I later found out the both the boys were 18, and 19. Just my freaking luck.


As we continued walking I felt like we just kept adding and adding more people to our group. We met two guys that knew the place well and suggested to go to Panama bar. We literally about flipped them a good one and went home because we had bad luck all night. They were very sweet and very consistent that we would like this club. Two stories, dancing, and free cover. We were sold on the free cover.

The line was a decent size and apparently this club will let any girl in but a guy must be with a group of girls in order to get in. As we kept moving forward more and more guys shuffled in inconspicuously. The more and more people started to get antsy. Once we finally entered the club we realized how much personal space we didn’t have. We all decide to put our coats down because we are sweating like rabbits. I shove my nice $250 dollar Columbia jacket that I just received during Christmas from my grandma behind a barrel. I was like perfect. It’s hidden, it’s tightly in there, and it’s right beside the group.

Also since there was 6 girls and 1 guy we decided to make a circle. Every time we kept dancing some weirdo would get in the middle and try to have a dance battle. Once we finally closed off the circle to them they left us alone. I was having a good time, trying to drop to the floor with some 50 cent song until when I turned around to make sure my jacket was there; because I’m paranoid as crap. It. Was. Gone.

I start freaking out, yelling in English to the guy standing beside the barrel. Asking repeatedly where my jacket was. I began marching thru the club pushing and shoving everyone out of my way as I scanned every possible coat that could potentially be mine. After I went through the club twice I began to become even more panicked. I forced my way back to the group and just broke down. I began sobbing. I stated to cry because how could I be 26 years old and still be naive enough to think this couldn’t happen to me. I was so angry at the fact that someone purposely took my jacket. All I remember is someone much taller than me let me bury my face in their chest while I began to sob. From that moment on, it was my mission to find it.

When we finally got outside I had no coat and it was a good 32 degrees. Everyone was trying to comfort me and hand me their jackets but I was too angry, sad, and shocked to even respond. Little did I know my mascara had already ran down my face while I was standing by the door. I was determined to find my jacket and the culprit behind it. As people began shuffling out I searched and scanned again as if I was working at a security check point. Multiple people kept asking in French if I was ok, and all I could say was “No.”And then, I saw it. Zipped up and ready to go on a tiny 20 something year old girl. I knew it was my coat from the fur on the hood and the buckles on the back. I ran over to her and I didn’t even question her. I knew it was my jacket. I began frantically saying “That’s my jacket.” She was so dumbfounded that she began coughing and acting as if she was too drunk and ‘sick’ that there was no way she could have done it on purpose. So I began taking it off of her; And not one person stopped me. They all knew it was mine by my look of determination. As soon as of ripped it off of her, her friend put her arm around her and hurried her off.

You should have seen the look on everyone’s faces when they saw my jacket in my hands. It was joy, shock, and confusion, all in one look. I didn’t even put it on for the first 5 minutes because I was still reminiscing on how the heck I just accomplished this task.


Once we were all together, we knew it was time to leave. I definitely learned a thing or two this weekend: Anytime calls for a shot of bourbon.

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